It’s raining again.
I wish I could run naked through it and it would wash away the pain I feel.
But there is lightening too, and knowing what I know about my life, I would get struck.
I still feel depressed, but not as depressed as I was this morning.
I still feel anxious, but the pills have dulled that feeling somewhat.
I wish I had just one day where I didn’t feel pain, even the tiniest bit. I wake up every day, no matter how positive I am feeling, and somewhere deep inside I know the pain will come. Before I lay my head to sleep, sometime during my day, the depression or some other shadow from my mind will flash forth and wound me in some way.
Holy shit! Enough of that!
I still feel terrible, but not bad enough to roll around in that morass anymore today. This morning was enough for me.
I want to thank all those who made comments about my post this morning. It feels good to know there are people out there who care enough to post a small comment to a lonely and depressed slob like me. I don’t feel like I deserve the attention, but it was nice, and went a long way to bringing me out of the depths I was in.
I guess I won’t die today, and maybe not tomorrow.
In my absence from Schizo Incognito, I didn’t keep up with many of your blogs. Now I open my reader and jump into stories that have already been partway told and private jokes I may have missed. For that, I am truly sorry, because I didn’t stay within the community I joined: to offer support or a pat on the back to a friend. I’m sad for what I may have missed, but glad you are all still here plugging away.
But, in places where a friend used to be, now there is only silence. I guess that’s how it goes in the blogosphere: people come and people go.
I was almost a statistic: “People who abandon their blogs after a few months.” I’m glad I’m not. I still have things to say, that I think are important for people who I consider friends to hear.
I still have a voice and a burning inside of me to write it down.
You can’t get rid of me that easily.