The Schizo Show – Starring Me

“Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy?” – Queen – Bohemian Rhapsody

Have you ever been somewhere and all of the sudden you feel like you are in a dream? Ever feel like your life is a false reality and any minute you will wake up in your real life?

This happens to me a lot and I don’t know if it is the side-effects of my medication or psychosis.

Just the other day, I was driving along, and I looked around and everything seemed so unreal. Everything felt so fake, like it was all happening for my sake. It felt like any minute, someone would make a mistake and this reality would be revealed for what it was.

I feel like Jim Carey in The Truman Show, and that everyone was trying to look like normal people, but they were only there as actors for my benefit. I feel like everybody is watching me to see what I will do next and as soon as I am past, they end the scene and move on to set up for the next one.

The Truman Show

Am I making any sense at all?

When I am in public, I always feel like I am being watched. I am constantly on the lookout for cameras recording my every move. Is that guy with the Smart Phone recording me? Is there a camera behind that mirror watching me take a shit?

I am in no way that interesting of a person that everyone should be watching me so closely.

There is probably some name for this condition that I don’t know about. This is not just a case of simple paranoia.

Has anyone ever felt like this besides me?

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5 thoughts on “The Schizo Show – Starring Me

  1. I have actually been dealing with a bit of this lately. I found a piano teacher for my son. We met with her last week, and before he had his first lesson, she told me that she can no longer give lessons. I automatically assumed it was a lie and that it was because it was me. As I get further along in my Acute Stress Disorder (possible PTSD), I am more and more paranoid. Intellectually, I know it’s absurd. Emotionally, I can’t help myself.

  2. Reality is broader and more multi-faceted than most people perceive. But most of them only see a very…if not a “fake” reality a very basic one. I call it the “hard-world” because it’s the most solid aspect of reality. However most people who only acknowledge it are easily manipulated otherwise. Does that make any sense?

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