My first wife was a pathological liar. Our whole 20 years of marriage was basically a series of lies. She got so used to lying that she would do it without even thinking about it.
Over the 20 years I was with her, I many times wanted to expose her, and give her an ultimatum that, if she ever lied to me again I would leave her. But, I never did, because for most of my life I have been a doormat, and I let people walk all over me.
One of her more memorable lies happened before we actually got married.
I had started to finally realize just how much she lied, so I was going to move back to Tucson and leave her in New Mexico. But, that didn’t fit with her plans so two weeks before I left, she told me she was pregnant.
I have always been a “stand-up” guy, so she knew I wouldn’t leave her behind. My parents were providing a place for me to stay until I got an apartment, and when I told them that she was coming with me, they said if I wanted to live in that house, I would have to get married. They still treated me like I was still a Jehovah’s Witness, so I never told them that we had been living together in sin.
So the day we arrived in Tucson, we got married. I was only 18 and didn’t want to be married, but I had little choice in the matter.
Two months passed and I was starting to wonder why she had not been to a doctor for her pregnancy, so I asked her. She told me that two weeks before she had a miscarriage and forgot to tell me.
SHE FORGOT TO TELL ME?
I knew she was lying, but what did I do about it? Nothing. I did nothing. I wanted to yell at her. I wanted to scream that it was not fair, but I didn’t.
That lie set the tone for our whole marriage. I couldn’t ever tell when she was lying or not.
Now, I have a wonderful wife who is truthful about everything and I am trying to forget all those years of hell.
This post was in reply to the Daily Prompt: With or Without you where our instructions were to:
Tell us about the time you threw down the gauntlet and drew the proverbial line in the sand by giving someone an ultimatum. If you’ve never handed out an ultimatum but secretly wanted to, describe the scene and what you would say to put an end (one way or another) to an untenable situation.