My Mental Health: Anger is Tearing Me Apart

I have been letting anger get the best of me. It’s not an emotion I ever had to try and control before. I’m not normally an angry person. But more and more I have been getting frustrated and angry at the smallest of things. I know anger is a useless emotion, but I can’t help myself. The last thing I want is for it to take over my life.

My Internet Connection
I get up usually around 2am when the house is quiet. This is my writing time because there aren’t any distractions and I can write without being bothered. The past couple of days when I got up, I wasn’t able to connect to the internet right away, and it really puts me behind. It’s 4:30am right now and I haven’t had internet all morning.

I realize the Philippines is a developing country, and I should expect to have problems here and there, but this is happening every day. I pay a lot to have an internet connection, and I want it to work like it’s supposed to.

Running Water
It seems like every other day we run out of water. I’m not talking about drinking water, we have to buy that, but the water we use to bathe, wash clothes and do dishes with. Our subdivision has a water tower, which they have to fill with these big tanker trucks. They still can’t seem to keep enough water to supply everyone.

It’s amazing what you take for granted when you live in the States.

I wrote about my road rage a few weeks ago, and it has only gotten a little better. I still get angry at the stupidity of the other drivers, and it makes me drive recklessly. I scared my wife the other day so bad, she started crying. Man I felt like an asshole.

Mental Health
I know it doesn’t help, but when I am hearing voices, anxious, or I feel the stirrings of a panic attack, I get very angry. When I get angry at my brain, I tend to take it out on others, like my poor wife and sweet baby. I don’t want to hurt them so I tend to isolate myself and trying to deal with the anger on my own.

I think my inability to form complete thoughts in the single biggest thing I get angry about. Writing used to come easy to me. Now I have to fight to write every sentence. I have no problems coming up with things to write about, but actually putting my thoughts down has been very hard. I know for a fact that my postings have been suffering.

There is some hope for my writing though. I found out from my doctor that I misread her instructions and have been taking way too much medication. Maybe after a few days the brain fog will lift and I can write again.

After the last time I wrote about it I got some great advice from my fellow bloggers about how to deal with anger. So I will ask again: How do you deal with anger?

Follow me on Twitter: @SchizoIncognito


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s