One of these days very soon my mind will work well enough that I can actually finish something I am trying to write. I mentioned yesterday that I am living with this brain fog and I can think straight, and it is worse today. Thoughts come to my head, but actually putting these thoughts into intelligent sentences seems an almost impossible task for me.
Most of yesterday (Valentine’s Day in the Philippines) was pretty good for me. I tried really hard to keep my mind from ruining the day. My wife’s parents went to the mall with us and we had a nice lunch. I looked for flowers for my wife, but everyone else was doing the same thing and all that was left were shriveled-up roses. So I got my wife some chocolates. I think she appreciated that at least I made the effort. After we ate, we walked around, but I couldn’t do it for long because the paranoia and voices were bothering me, so we had to go.
Speaking of my wife, she has been trying really hard to control her rages. She slipped up a few times and yelled at me, but she recovered quickly. I love her so much for trying to make things less stressful for me, and allowing me to hide in the bedroom with a pillow over my head when things get really bad. She even left me a note above my desk that says:
“Reminder: I love you! Thank you for fighting the hard days.”
I look at it every time I sit down.
I hope today is a good day. I am going to try my best to remain positive, my wife and Baby Z deserve it.
I hope everyone has a good Valentine’s Day, and I hope tomorrow I can write something worthwhile again.
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