Imagine there is no heaven
It’s easy if you try
No hell below us
Above us only sky
Imagine all the people
Living for today
Imagine there’s no countries
It isn’t hard to do
Nothing to kill or die for
And no religion, too
Imagine all the people
Living life in peace
Imagine – John Lennon
There is no label that defines how I feel about God and religion. I’m not a Christian or an Atheist, I am somewhere in-between. I don’t think badly of anyone if they choose to worship God or not. I think everyone should be allowed to believe how they choose.
I started thinking about this last night, after my wife got mad at me because I wouldn’t pray. I just couldn’t bring myself to do it, not even for my wife and daughter. For some reason, this episode has been causing me an extreme amount of anxiety; enough anxiety to make me lose sleep.
It’s not that I don’t believe in God; I do. I guess you can just say I have lost my faith in Him and any religion that claims to represent Him.
I haven’t always been a faithless heathen. I grew up in a Christian environment. I had religion force-fed to me every day of my young life. I had no choice; my decisions were made for me. I even returned to my religion for a short time as an adult, but I did it for all the wrong reasons.
I have many reasons for my loss of faith, but the main one is because if there is a God up there somewhere, he sure does allow a lot of suffering. I don’t believe like some that God is the cause of this suffering; I just don’t believe he cares enough about puny humans to do anything about it. How can I have faith in someone who ignores the teenage girl who cuts herself to feel better for a short time, or the man who attempts to kill himself because he feels hopeless and sees no other way out? What about the cancer patient who prays every night for help, but still lives in agony every day? What about the child who goes to bed hungry every night and lives in a cardboard box under the overpass?
God may not have caused bad things to happen to humans, but He is sure not in a hurry to help either.
And please, don’t get me started on religion. Too much bad has been done in the name of a religion to justify their existence.
I have more reasons for my lack of faith in God and religion, but it will have to wait for another day when I am not feeling so much anxiety about talking about it. So, go to your church and worship God as you see fit, or go through life not believing in anything. It’s your choice, and above all, I believe in choice.
What do you believe? Please leave a comment and tell me, I am very interested in hearing what my fellow bloggers have to say.
Oh, and follow me on Twitter please: @SchizoIncognito.