It’s been a pretty crappy New Year. The highlight was F telling me her life is miserable and she hates me. Now she is acting like last night never happened. It’s always the same with her. I don’t know what to do. If she is not happy, I don’t want to make her stay married to me. Should I just let her go? She sounds like she doesn’t want anything to do with me and I have let her down many, many times. I would have to go back to the U.S. and never see Baby Z again. I don’t know if I could do that. But then again, I may not have a choice, she may just leave me. I’m so confused and I’m not thinking straight. I feel numb and everything is just racing through my mind.
Only time will tell what happens.
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